blogging and jogging

Hey, I blogged. Patrick told me it is easy, and it is. He sent me the website address and bingo, I’m a blogger. I recommend blogging for those who want to start an exercise program but are just too lazy to do so. Besides doing absolutely nothing for your physical well–being, blogging is far less tiring than jogging, a like–sounding activity often confused with blogging. It is easy to tell the difference: (1) blogging requires a computer; jogging a Blackbery; (2) blogging can be done indoors in any dwelling with an Internet connection; jogging can only be done in-doors in very large buildings spread out over at least an acre of ground; (3) blog-ging is weatherproof; jogging in inclement weather is for masochists; (4) you can eat, drink, and be merry while blogging; if you eat or drink anything but the occa-sional sip of water while jogging you will stain your clothes, are apt to suffer indi-gestion, and as for being merry: you probably are because we have already es-tablished you are a masochist; (5) you can fall asleep while blogging and pick up right where you left off upon awakening and no one will laugh at you; if you fall asleep while jogging you will fall on your face and suffer severe trauma unless you fall asleep while trying to beat the traffic at a busy intersection in which case the trauma will not be limited to your face and you will definitely provide some-thing for others to laugh about while they post your “in remembrance” blogs; (6) you can have sex while blogging, either alone or with up to ten people (over ten tends to be too distracting and the blogging gets forgotten); if you have sex alone while jogging you will be branded a pervert unless you jog in very remote areas but there is always the remote chance of discovery and in remote areas the in-habitants shoot perverts on sight and if you have sex with up to ten people while jogging you will, providing you do not get arrested, soon die because you are severly addicted to methamphetamines; (7) your children can recommend blog-ging to you and you will still love them and know they love you; if your children recommend jogging it means they are tired of waiting for you to die and want the inevitable cardiovascular event to happen soon and you will harbor questions about their true intentions just past the 100–yard mark of your first jogging expe-rience; (8) you can read a book while blogging by simply shifting your gaze from the computer screen to the tome that currently has you spellbound; if you read a book while jogging your eyeballs will have to rapidly track up and down and this vertical maneuver, without proper warm–up exercises, has been known to result in “pupil–poofing” which is the term that describes the phenomenon whereby the pupils traverse too far too fast (Poof! They’re gone) and become permanently lodged 180º from where they were born and all that is visible until surgery cor-rects this situation is the whites of your eyes and that is not good because people with guns look for that and then they unleash a barrage of lead projectiles in your direction that can affect more than your vision and you cannot even see them coming and you may never see anything again because the overwhelming major-ity of dead people lack optic nerve brain function; (9) you can talk to yourself while blogging; talk to yourself without a cell phone in your hand while jogging and you will almost certainly get accused of harassment, lewd behavior, or hav-ing had one tee many martoonies; (10) and we saved the best for last: blogging is fun; jogging is only labeled fun by pathological liars.