Camping It Up

Camping It Up

Drugs and crime. Crime and drugs. The two are inextricably linked. The War on Drugs is now in its third decade and there is no end in sight. Seizures of product, no matter how large, have failed to stem the flow of these noxious substances to our shores. Crime and drugs have infested this great melting pot we call America and the plague is unstoppable. They simmered together in a skillet once found in only our largest cities and the bubbles rose, burst, and scattered their droplets across this great nation until the landscape became inundated. The scourge, once confined to the ghettoes, now claims residence in every village and hamlet. The problem has not gone away; it continues to worsen. All methods to eradicate have proved futile. The time has come to just say no to the policies in place. They simply do not work.
Innumerable studies have been conducted and the results are well–documented. We have all the facts we need to formulate a strategy that will work. There is no reason to suspect the means presently employed to combat drug use will ever produce positive results. Statistics, ream after ream of them, show that the number of users has not declined. The bright spot in all of this data is that the number has not risen. A small percentage of the populace turns to drugs in every generation. It has always been so; this is part of the human condition. We cannot change the way we are but we can change the way we do business.
Heroin and cocaine addicts are not criminals. They are individuals who have made a rational choice to give their lives over to intoxicants that dominate every facet of their being. They live only to procure and ingest more and more drugs. There is no cure, no hope for recovery, and they will gladly tell you so. All they want is found in a needle or a spoon. They have no desire to cause trouble or upset the balance of society. They simply wish to be left alone to pursue their pleasure.
These desires have spawned a criminal underground the likes of which this country has never seen. The work ethic has been replaced by the quick fix. Why study hard, graduate, and work your way up the ladder when you can deal and drive flashy wheels? Gangs have evolved, turf wars are fought daily, and the landscape is littered with bodies that once held promise. These gangs exist only because the sale of drugs generates enormous profits.
Fortunately, no one cares about those who have thrown their lives away. We all know that drug addicts are that and nothing else. They contribute nothing to the workplace. They steal to support their habit. They are a danger to us all and must be removed. We will not miss them. We will be glad to see them go. They clutter the sidewalks as we make our way to work, begging our hard–earned dollars so that they might escape reality. They force us to install expensive security apparati to protect the items we have worked hard to obtain. They have no respect for us and deserve not one iota of pity. Still, it would be cruel to turn our backs on these unfortunates. A humane approach, consistent with the traditions this great country has always espoused, is called for. Fortunately, we have a precedent.
In WWII, we defused the threat from within by quickly sending the Yellow Peril to internment camps where they could be closely monitored. The threat was eradicated. None suffered. All were treated kindly. When one compares our handling of undesirables to the extermination methods resorted to by our foes, there is no need for further vindication. We went to great expense to provide for these people and the outcome justified the outlay. Those whose sympathies lay outside our borders were neutralized. Not only were we spared harm, they brought no shame upon themselves and when the war ended we allowed them to once again infiltrate our society. Their descendents today lead productive lives thanks solely to our government’s intervention at a time when it was necessary.
Once again, it is necessary for government to step up and solve a problem. The first thing we will do is to make cocaine and heroin readily available to the addicts who clog our system. Distribution centers will be opened nationwide and addicts welcomed with open arms. We understand their need and do not wish to see them suffer. No longer will it be necessary for them to skulk in shadowy realms in constant fear of their liberty. Simply step forward and announce your need and this great country will provide for you. You will be given the drugs you seek free of charge. You will then be transported to various utopias across the nation (fear not, drugs will be available en route) that will see to all of your needs. Quantity will not be an issue and quality guaranteed. The danger of sickness or death from impurities will be no more. You will be free to spend the rest of your days in the bliss that only drugs can provide.
Drug addicts do not care about their families and their families no longer have any use for them. Days of constant sorrow will be no more. Mothers and fathers who could only wring their hands and moan will be spared embarrassment and pain. Knowing their loved ones are no longer in danger will be of great comfort. All parents privately write off their progeny once they fall prey to drugs. The public concern they evince is transparent; a hopeless situation is just that. No longer will parents be forced to live a life of duplicity. They can hold their heads high once more and feel secure. Monies once wasted on lawyers and bail can be used to bring joy, peace, and harmony into lives once tormented. Prized possessions and heirlooms can now be brought out from under lock and key. The threat and fear of having their lives disrupted will be gone forever.
Since the majority of prison inmates are drug addicts, all inmates will be offered the opportunity to join this emancipation project. We will then convert most prisons to low–cost housing and homeless shelters. The streets that now teem with tatterdemalions will once again be pristine. Crime will drop to levels thought unattainable. Gangs will disintegrate. Schools will once more be the stepping–stone to an honored place in society.
No addict, once nestled in this nirvana, will ever leave. Their needs, beyond the drugs provided—which are ridiculously inexpensive with the black–market markup removed—will be miniscule. Locating centers in warm–weather areas will minimize the need for clothing. Southwestern Indian reservations, now largely deserted because the former residents are all fabulously wealthy thanks to casino profits and have moved to Beverly Hills, are ideal for this purpose. Closed military bases stand ready to receive this new batch of enlisted men and women and no money need be allocated for construction. Since addicts are accustomed to deplorable living conditions, there will be no need to budget funds for upkeep. Feeding costs will be minimal since addicts forsake food for drugs. The War on Drugs will come to an end and take its place in the history books alongside other great conflicts this country entered into, acquitted itself admirably, and points to with pride of accomplishment: Vietnam and Iraq, just to name two.
The obvious side benefit from this humanitarian effort will be an end to terrorism. Without funding, the extremists will disband. Since it is a known fact that virtually all the money the jihadists spend to promote their unholy beliefs comes from drug sales, they will be unable to continue. Many will now find their way to this country simply to join a utopian drug center and live out their lives in tranquility. As our forefathers envisioned, this will be the land of the free once more.